Dear God – Thank You For The Bad Days

Thank You for the difficult days, for the heaviness in my chest, for the chaos in the garden, for the rocky waves as I sail. Thank You for the nights I can’t sleep because the storm won’t subside. Thank you for the flooding tears, for not making me understand the whys behind. Thank you for allowing me to go through your process, for painfully refining me through the fire. Thank you because you made me realize just how different your face comes across when I’m suffering and not rejoicing.

Thank You for the darkness – for the missing stars, for the closed doors, for the no’s, for the endings. Thank you for letting me know it wasn’t destined for me before it was too late. Thank you for letting me cry in disappointment. Thank you for saving me before the building collapses. Thank you for the people who thought I wasn’t good enough—because that only meant I was for someone else, for something else, for someplace else. Thank you for letting me stumble as I chase the things you know isn’t designed for my hands to touch or for my heart to love because that’s when I realized that not all rejection must hurt, not all fights must be won, that not all we chase after is beneficial to us.

Thank You for the suffering – for the nights I plead ‘stop’, for the days I sing ‘enough’, for the moments of utter brokenness and surrender. Thank You for you made me realize how undone I am. How needy and incomplete I am without you. Thank you for the hallelujahs on repeat and the working behind and in between the songs. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be clouded in my brokenness because that’s when we come into the realization that I can’t fix myself, that I can’t mend my own scars or wipe my own tears. That’s when I realize that you are still scrutinizing, and fixing, and moving, and working ‘til You see what you envisioned for me.

Thank You for the detours – for the wandering that caused confusion, for the confusion that caused insecurity, for the insecurity that caused my knees to fall to the ground. Because you made me realize that there isn’t anything wrong with arms wide open, weeping ‘God lead me’. Thank You because you know better than I do, you know when it’s time to go or stay. To wait or work. To run or walk. You know it all.

Thank You for the weaknesses – for giving me more than I can take, for not removing my thorns, for showing me my own demons, and for redirecting me to the mirror. Thank you for making me see who I really am without you, just how miserable and incapable she is. Thank you because you made me realize just how your strength is truly perfected in my weakness. For showing me just how badly I need you to come and do the rest.

Thank You for the painful truth – for canceling all the lies we want to hear, for opening the eyes we want to shut so badly. Thank you for illuminating the darkest of rooms. Because it’s a reminder that we are the light of the world and that isn’t just another quotation to quote, but a statement that should hold its impact and move hearts. Move people. Move us. In action.

Thank You for the tough days – for using it to remind me that You are a God that is unfathomable, a God that offers us more, who wants us to know Him better. Discover him deeper, in a new light, through the experiences and the struggles.

Thank You for making me realize that I wasn’t buried here but I was actually planted, right at this very place of pain and discomfort. Right in this area of ultimate incapability. Right at this field of humanness. And for reminding me that I am meant to grow here, that I am meant to bloom and be refined for all of my life.

Thank You for the bad days, God. For the bad days made all the good days worth it. For it made all the difference and made joy even more special and peace even more significant.

So, thank You.

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